CHRIST'S PIECES LENT 2000
vice, virtue, vomit

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Skywalker vs. God
by Daniel Sargent

"If Jesus had a fight with Luke Skywalker who would win? My money's on the Jedi. The trick with the bread and fishes might have cut some ice in 23 AD but this is the twenty-first century. Sure, Jesus might be the son of God, the omnipotent creator of the Universe, but Skywalker is the child of Vader, supreme master of the evil Galactic Empire. No contest really."

"So you substitute a nice, caring, happy version of Christianity in which everybody gets into heaven and God is some kind of amorphous feminine life-giver. But having replaced Hell with pangs of guilt and God with the Supreme Vagina, the religion just ain't the same anymore."

"What is more is, unlike the Bible, Star Wars is wholesome entertainment suitable for the whole family. There's no rape, pillage or sodomy in this trilogy. Yet Star Wars maintains a sex appeal unmatched by the Bible, unless I missed the bit where Mary Magdalene slips into a metal bikini."